I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. Okay, I'm a huge hypochondriac. There was the time two years ago when I was walking with my friend Natalie, and I felt an unusual bulge on the back of my knee/leg. I reached down to feel the bulge through my jeans, and I freaked out. I thought I had an abnormal growth or some sort of tumor. Turns out, it was just a turquoise thong that had gotten stuck in my pant leg in the wash.
Then, a few months later, I had an unusually sharp pain in the side of my lower abdomen. I immediately got on Web MD, went through the "symptom checker" and I realized that my appendix was probably getting ready to burst. I freaked out again! I was minutes away from heading to the emergency room, when my friend Emily's mom, who's a pharmacist, suggested that I take a warm shower and see how I felt before taking such drastic measures. Well wouldn't you know, after the shower I felt like a million bucks.
Finally, just this past week, I thought something was seriously wrong with me. I've been incredibly tired lately, and I could not figure out why. I've been sleeping more than 8 hours a night and napping 1-2 hours after work every day. I started thinking of all the worst case scenarios. Maybe I have cancer? I'm probably Anemic. I have mono. No, I probably got bit by a tick while camping a few months ago! I definitely have Lyme disease. As you have probably already conjured, my mind gets slightly carried away (okay, extremely carried away) when my health is involved. Finally, I went to see the doctor, and I had my blood tested. No anemia. No Lyme disease. No mono. Slightly elevated thyroid levels, but nothing to be too concerned about. I worried myself into a tizzy.
During my time of anxiously waiting to get my test results back, I did alot of thinking. I prayed alot, and I came to the realization that worrying gets nothing accomplished. Nothing! Easier said than done, right? I always talk about trusting in the Lord and knowing that He is always good, but at a times like these when I feel that things are out of my control, I begin to worry, moving myself further away from God. I'm human though, and I'll be the first to admit that trusting in God is not always easy, and practicing what you preach is not exactly easy either.
Back in November of 2004, I gave a speech to our entire school (for a mock presidential debate) about why abortion is morally, ethically, all of the above, etc. wrong. Later that same night, I went to my best friend, Jena's house, and took my first pregnancy test. Positive. Talk about having to practice what you preach! No, I wasn't ever considering abortion, but for the first time, I realized how a woman could actually think that abortion was necessary. When I found out that I was pregnant, I felt trapped. "But I'll never do it again," I pleaded with God. It would have been so easy to secretly have an abortion and to continue swimming and just living the good life. Nobody would have ever had to know. But instead, I realized that I had a moral obligation to give life to the child that God created. (Jeremiah 1: 4-5 The word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart")
I knew that I had to practice what I had been preaching all along. That's big stuff for an immature, irresponsible 18-year-old. But, somehow, I knew that this is what God wanted me to do.
Here's what the Bible says about abortion:
Jeremiah 31: 15-17
"A cry of anguish is heard in Ramah--mourning and weeping unrestrained.
Rachel weeps for her children, refusing to be comforted--for her children are dead."
..But now the Lord says,
"Do not weep any longer, for I will reward you.
Your children will come back to you from the distant land of the enemy.
There is hope for your future," says the Lord.
"Your children will come again to their own land."
There are so many other examples of abortion throughout the Bible, but I like this one because it clearly shows how, although the slaughter of innocents is sinful and wrong, the children "will come back...from the distant land" and Rachel is comforted in knowing that her slaughtered children will be saved. This verse offers HOPE and FORGIVENESS to post-abortive women, and guidance to those who are considering it. We are all human, and yes, we are sinful by nature, but God tells us that He forgives us for our sins. The children will be saved. Doesn't that offer you great hope? Yes, God is good!
Project Rachel reaches out to all women and men hurting emotionally and spiritually after involvement with abortion. This ministry helps heal your wounded relationships with yourself, your child, and God. Extending God's compassion, unconditional love, and forgiveness, Project Rachel offers hope and peace.
To find the location of the nearest Project Rachel near you,
"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Genesis 50:20