Thursday, July 16, 2009

Back in March of this year, Robbie's mom, Mary Beth Leonard, gave me a special gift. During a time when I was struggling to be too many things to too many people, Mary Beth recognized my perfectionist tendencies, and she pulled me aside. She gave me the "you're doing way too much and stressing yourself out" speech that she's given me a million times since the baby was born. I always knew she was right, but I never really did anything to fix it. I always thought, "I will stop" but I never did. I could never pull myself away from doing too much. On this particular day in March, however, Mary Beth not only gave me 'the speech," but she also gave me a book called, Jesus Calling. The book is written as if Jesus is speaking to you, and it is a year's worth of daily readings to help bring you closer to Christ. "I want you to read the daily reading each day, and really concentrate on relaxing and listening to what Jesus is saying," Mary Beth said. I had no idea then, (I know Mary Beth did!) but the book has actually helped me to slow down and really focus each day on what Jesus is calling me to do, rather than focusing on the forces that are constantly trying pull my life in a million different directions. It has been such a tremendous blessing! I'm not sure why, but I've been worrying alot about the future this past week. Maybe it's the realization that Deanna won't be little forever, or maybe it's just uncertainty, but I've been really stressed out about about what I'm supposed to be doing with my life and what lies ahead. When I read yesterday's Jesus Calling passage, you could have knocked me over with a feather. "Do not worry about tomorrow! This is not a suggestion, but a command. I divided time into days and nights so that you would have manageable portions of life to handle. My grace is sufficient for you, but its sufficiency is for only one day at a time. When you worry about the future, you heap day upon day of troubles onto your flimsy frame. You stagger under this heavy load, which I never intended for you to carry...Anxious thoughts meander about and crisscross in your brain, but trusting Me brings you directly into My Presence. As you thus affirm your faith, shackles of worry fall off instantly. Enjoy My Presence continually by trusting Me at all times." -Jesus Calling (by Sarah Young) How incredibly appropriate. Thank you MB! Check out the pictures from the Triangle Right to Life ice cream social this weekend!


Pam said...

That is what I have been struggling with also Amy. It seems He is wanting me to learn to live continually in His presence. It's a journey, isn't it? I am thrilled to have met you, and I look so forward to what the Lord does with your life. It will be full with trials and blessings, but what an inspiration you will be to many.

Chelsa said...

great devotional!! and i needed it too!

Leah said...

Hey Amy,

A friend told me about your adoption story in the news and I was pleasently surprised to hear about a positive open adoption story in the media. I am also 22 and used to live and placed my daughter in Raleigh (now I'm in Charlotte). I was 16 when I placed and my daughter Kaylee is now 5. We also have a very open adoption and it has been such a blessing for all of us to connect like family over our love for Kaylee.

My Dad works at NC State and has season tickets to the football games and I'm so excited to tell him that a birthdad is/was on the team!

I also have a blog where I write about my experiences as both a birthmom and now a young mom and wife: My adoption story is on there as well.

I would love to connect with you more, it's so hard to find other birthmoms nearby and especially ones that have the same positive and open experience I have. My family still lives in Raleigh so I visit often :-)


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