"Welcome welcome welcome welcome welcome!"
-Michael from The Office
Seriously, welcome. Blogging is something I have always wanted to do, but I never had the motivation or energy to do it until now. Amstel Life is going to be a work in progress, but I think it has the potential to do great things. I want to show people that open adoption is a real choice and that it can be a very successful option for anyone dealing with a crisis pregnancy situation.
So who am I? I'm Amstel (I actually don't like the beer). Amstel was a nickname I acquired during my college years (which are dwindling away as I type) when I began introducing myself as "Amstel" to strangers at parties, gatherings, what have you, simply to get a reaction. Some people believed me, and some did not...but the reaction was the best part of the recreational lie. It raised a lot of eyebrows...and I loved it.
Speaking of raising eyebrows, I've done that a lot during the past five years of my life. I managed to be crowned homecoming queen, voted swim team captain, awarded powder puff mvp (over 100 rushing yards, byaaaa!), and get pregnant all in the same week during senior year of high school in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. That's nearly impossible, and I'm pretty sure that it has never been done before. In June of 2005, after graduation and more than enough public humiliation, I moved to Raleigh, North Carolina to place my daughter in an open adoption with a couple who could not have children. When I placed Deanna with her family four years ago, I started over. I was no longer a humiliated unwed mother, but a college freshman who had a second chance to do all of the the things that an 18-year-old was supposed to be doing.
I'm now a 22-year-old senior at NC State University, and I'm loving every second of it. I'm president of a student organization on campus, Real Choices, which is a group that advocates resources for pregnant, parenting, and post-abortive women on campus and in the community. I also serve as Arch Regent of The Golden Chain Society, an honor society for the top twelve rising seniors at NC State University. I work 20 hours a week as a Public Relations Representative for a neurologist, intern with the news desk at a local television station, teach Sunday School to a class of wonderful/rowdy/hilarious 8th graders, and I get to visit my beautiful 3 and a half year old daughter anytime that I want to. Perhaps it was a defense mechanism, but I did everything in my power to immerse myself in activities to prove that I made the right decision. I never really had the opportunity to share my experience with others. I'm finally ready to be honest about unplanned pregnancy, open adoption, and the loss of my daughter.
A co-worker of mine told me about a new book that asks “famous people” to summarize their lives in just 6 words. The book: Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure by Rachel Fershleiser (Editor), Larry Smith (Editor). I struggled to capture the 22 years of my crazy life into just 6 words...then it came to me:
"My failure was my greatest success"
1) Deanna and I share the same middle name, Marie.
2) I helped Don & De choose the name Deanna Marie.
3) I ravenously ate watermelon and fruit punch (Tahitian Treat) for 9 months...and everyone thought I was turning into a different race.
4) I had severe "cankles." Yes, my calves went straight down into my ankles about 7 months in. Attractive.
5) Because of my cankles, my friends pushed me around in a wheelchair for two months during the sweltering hot summer in North Carolina. Trouble.
6) Big feet = hurt ribs
7) I stand stronger in my belief that abortion should never be an option after going through unplanned pregnancy myself.
8) De and I had a joint baby shower in North Carolina. She got cribs and strollers... I got college stuff (which of course included a string bikini).
9) I laughed through labor...seriously. They gave me medicine that made me giggle and I started telling ghost stories. Doctor Anthony advised that I stop...but I couldn't.
10) My best friend Jacqueline and I shared a bed for the last 3 months of my pregnancy....we had some serious cover fights. And Deanna kicked both of us.
11) 9 = the average number of times I got up to pee at night. My bladder was reduced to the size of a walnut.
12) I wasn't allowed to eat sushi...(high levels of merc). :(
13) De slept in the same hospital room with me for three days after the babe was born.
14) My family did not want to meet De and Don. They only did at the hospital because they had to...and they immediately changed their minds after meeting them. :)
15) My uncle Alan died from a massive heart attack a few weeks before Deanna was born...and that made my decision so much more difficult because I didn't want to cause any more hurt.
16) Deanna is Type-A personality--just like me. She has to have matching hair ties on each side of the handlebars of her bicycle...oh, perfectionism.
17) Deanna knows that I am her "Tummy Mommy."
18) When Angela and I stayed over Deanna's house in Myrtle Beach this past May, Deanna woke me up at 7:00am to give me a Mothers Day Card and a lock of hair from her first haircut.
19) A little bit of distance can be a good thing.
20) Deanna calls me, "Amy Hutton" (with a tiny little southern accent) because her aunt's name is Amy White.
21) I was 99% sure Deanna was going to be a boy--even after the doctor told me otherwise.
22) I gave a speech at Meredith College about open adoption and Don & De brought Deanna in at the end of the speech as a surprise...it was amazing.
23) Deanna absolutely loves watermelon. :)
24) When you walk across the stage at high school graduation in a white gown when you're 7 and a half months pregnant, you might resemble a blimp. FYI.
25) I wouldn't change a thing!
