Saturday, June 13, 2009

Things are going pretty good up in the 'burgh. Besides the excitement of winning the Stanley Cup last night, there's been alot going on! When I first arrived in Pittsburgh on Thursday morning we took De and Deanna to my grandparents house for lunch. Deanna was a bit shy at first because she didn't really remember them from the last time she was here. That changed in about 5 minutes. As soon as the snacks came out Deanna was being her usual silly self. She actually has a great sense of humor for a nearly four year old. She accidentally swallowed her gum and pointed to me saying, "it was Amy Hutton's fault" because she was making a funny face at me which somehow resulted in the accidental gum swallowing. I pretended to get upset and we couldn't stop laughing. When I was little, I was the master of making up recreational lies. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Deanna and her family have been coming to visit my family in Pittsburgh for the past three summers. Since the Leonards live in North Carolina and get to see Deanna often, it was an insanely nice gesture for the Dollars to commit to spending a whole week with my family once a year in Pittsburgh. This trip has been a bit different from past trips, however. First of all, Robbie and his family are all in Pittsburgh this week, and Robbie's grandparents, aunts and uncles, who have only seen Deanna a few times, wanted the Dollars to split time between visiting their family and ours. My family wasn't expecting to have to share time with the Leonards this week and they felt a bit surprised because they didn't find out until right before the Dollars came to Pittsburgh. I often feel like I'm still the middle-man between two families who just want to spend time with their grandchild. I wasn't going to include this in my blog because I didn't want to step on anyone's toes or hurt any feelings. But I promised myself when I started blogging that I would be honest with my readers because this is what it's really like. Open adoption is about compromise. It's not always easy, as I've said a hundred times. This is one of those times that I feel like I have to please everyone. Robbie's family, my family, everyone. And it sucks. But Deanna is happy when she is visiting all of her relatives in Pittsburgh, and I can truly tell that she is having a blast. I often struggle with spreading myself too thin and trying to please everyone all the time. But I think as long as Deanna is happy I will be okay with sitting back and letting things happen the way they are supposed to. Sharing is never easy, but that's because everyone loves Deanna so much. So here's the highlight of the trip so far: As I was strapping Deanna into her car seat when we were leaving my grandparents, she matter-of-factly told me that watermelon is her favorite food. I immediately stopped what I was doing and looked into her big brown eyes. "Really?" I asked, incredulously. De said, "tell Amy Hutton why!" And Deanna looks at me with a big mischievous smile and says, "because I ate so much of it when I was in Amy Hutton's tummy!" Is it tough sometimes? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely.


Zaxby's Fan said...

Hey Amy,

Of course, this is another awesome blog post! But, most importantly, I think posting about the experiences like compromise in open adoption and being honest with your readers is definitely one of the purposes of your blog, about honesty. Your experience is so real that when I read about them I feel like I'm right there to see it, and I think that is very important, and it brings you back to learn more and more with each posting. That was really funny when you told us about how Deanna loves watermelon and even about the gum swallowing. Like you said, I know it has to be tough sometimes, but I know this is definitely worth it!

Take care, and remember what I've told you before, I really admire you and everything you do because without you I know I wouldn't know anything about things like this! Keep up the great work and making all of us proud :)


Lisa Sullivan said...

I completely understand stretching yourself too thin. While my family is not part of the Open Adoption realm, our entire family (my husband's and mine) is in Massachusetts so whenever we go home, we have to visit EVERYONE...and it tires me out every single time BUT it's worth it in the end.

Relationships are all about compromise. Whether the subject matter is marriage, children, adopted children, etc. there is always a bit of compromise. Telling your readers the truth about the things your family must compromise on is very meaningful to those that read this blog from a similar perspective as you. Just keep doing what you're doing, Amy. You continue to inspire!

Post a Comment