I've been trying to decide the topic of my next blog post for the past few days. I'm still undecided, so I'm going to just start writing and see where this goes. As we say in the media business, "buckle up!" Okay, we don't really ever say "buckle up" but it sounded kind of thrilling before it sounded weird.
So I went to Charleston, South Carolina this past weekend for a mini-road trip. It was absolutely beautiful! I would so go back again. On the way back home to Raleigh, we stopped in to Myrtle Beach for a quick little babe visit. Don, De and Deanna were all on the beach, so we changed into our swim suits and headed to the beach to see them. (Along with a few Amstel Lights of course.)
When I first walked up to De, Don, and Deanna on the beach, they were hanging out with some friends from Don's work. Deanna, who was playing with their son, ran over and gave me a huge hug. She said, "Hi AmyHutton." What happened next sort of caught me off-guard. I watched as Deanna ran back to her little male companion, and she told him excitedly that I was her birthmother. She said it proudly and with confidence. Like it was something she was excited about! That just made my day. The little boy didn't understand what that meant, but he just smiled and nodded. He didn't have to understand what it meant, but it was obviously something great, something cool. "That's my birthmom!"
Heather @ Production, Not Reproduction offered another Open Adoption Roundtable prompt:
Imagine your child as an adult describing their open adoption experience. What do you hope they will be able to say about you? How did you view their other parents? In what ways did you support their relationship with them?
My hopes for Deanna's adult life are very optomistic. I don't worry as much as I did before that Deanna won't understand why I placed her for adoption or that she will be mad...I optimistically think (and hope) that Deanna will think about everything she has, not what she doesn't have as a result of the adoption. I'm sure she will have lots of questions and thoughts as she gets older, but ultimately I think she will understand. Someday I hope that Deanna will still be able to excitedly and confidently say, even when she is an adult, "That's my birthmom!" And I'll probably still smile the same way that I did when I heard her say it for the first time on Memorial Day of 2010.
My relationship with Deanna is close and evolving. Deanna will be 5-years-old in July, and I feel like she is really starting to grasp our true relationship. Yes, I'm just another person in her family who loves her and wants the best for her, but we share something that is so close and so special. Even Deanna's relationship with Robbie is so natural and close. When Deanna becomes an adult, I hope 1) that Don never allows her to date and 2) that she will always treasure the relationship we have been building for the past years.
I often think about how lucky I am to have Don, De, and their families in my life. It means so much to me when Don's mother, Priscilla, sends me sweet messages and tells me how much she admires and appreciates what I have given her family. Priscilla is an amazing woman...she told me recently that she promises to be the best grandmother ever to Deanna. That meant the world to me! Everyone in Don and De's families have welcomed me as one of their own, it's awesome to be able to call them my family.
Look how much fun we had this weekend!
And in case you're wondering, I did not injure myself doing the recreational gymnastics in the sand.